111119

The best thing which happens in life.

LOVE

To my friend.

我曾經以爲友情是佔有

但是年紀越來越大 遇到的人越來越多

才了結當初我媽說的話背後的含義

沒有人會是你一輩子的朋友

因爲人生有好多個階段

每一個階段你會有不同的朋友

呵 會說這個表示我人生已經經過好幾個階段了

高中最煩惱的事情之一

就是爲什麽友情這件事永遠不能如我所願

爲什麽我感覺不到她重視我 爲什麽她不願意花更多時閒陪我

現在回想起來 不是蠢

就是當時的熱血青春少女

現在

我不喜歡你說我差別待遇

我不喜歡你說我抛棄你們

時間無法衡量我比較愛誰

因爲存在的意義不一樣 卻一樣深大

就像你永遠無法說你到底比較喜歡哪一部電影

因爲在不同的時候你喜歡的是不同的電影

沉靜 瘋狂 吵鬧 哭泣 大笑

你們都意義非凡

我也很高興有你們每一個人

能跟你們一起長大

是很美好的事

Dear Diary.

Sometimes u just feel strengthless to explain.

So I hand myself to my dear diary, when I'm about to sink.

About love.

這裡記錄了很多關於我的事

但是我發覺在這裡沒看過的
是我接下來要寫的這些

我承認對感情從來沒有保持過消極以外的想法

在我未來的規劃裏

我可以獨自撫養一個小孩長大

我可以不要結婚但是一直跟一個人在一起

我也可以不要一直跟一個人在一起 如果我發覺他不愛我 我也不愛他了

我絕對可以 不結婚 而且目前也沒有這個打算

我看過好多人的愛情 包括最親近的人

所以我沒有自信

我可能只是喜歡 不是愛

我可能只是暫時的怦然

我可能不會為他改變自己

我可能不會永遠跟他在一起

他可能不會為我改變自己

他也可能不會永遠跟我在一起

我擔心別人受傷害 更怕自己受傷害

我知道我永遠也無法相信任何一個他

寧願給自己保留一個受傷害時馬上可以出逃的通路

在愛情裏 we should play fair

後記：

會想寫這些是因爲最近開始想交男朋友

不只是因爲像以前是壓力莫名大心情不好的時候希望有個人可以講話

但是這次更是單純的想試試看

想嘗試把自己交給一個人 想嘗試信任

想挑戰我在看過那麽多愛情之後堆積起來的感情觀

愛 讓我感動

親情 友情 愛情

這三個題材不論放在那裏都總是讓我感動 落淚

所以即使愛情這件事發生是我這一生中可能最恨的人身上

我也無法不感動 羡慕 然後默默感到為她感到開心 祝福

幸福 不論是自己的還是別人的 是上天最棒的禮物

最近在看"我可能不會愛你" 每一句都在心裏起了微妙的變化

我想跟未來的他說

我可能不會愛你

可是我會很喜歡你 然後越來越喜歡你

一直到我不再喜歡你

好像是我唯一可以做的承諾

跟你說

很妙的在此刻

我看到了那個最熟悉的陌生人

總是在沒注意的時候溜進來 用他的笑臉佔據我的腦袋

可能在我真正找到愛情的時候 他也不會離開

晚安, 親愛的你 :)

random random.

it's been a month since my last post, so gon do this quick to keep my blog update. u shd know that reviewing the thgs u wrote in the past is a funny thing to do. those are all precious memory than u cn nvr compare with jz remembering in your brain. looking thru the sentence, the words jz make u feel hw much u hv changed, mentally and physically. u look back, and then u started to miss all those younger days.

started working in corner and nw it's a month. i love corner bcz i like the people thr, but everythg changes since we had a new teacher in charge this sem. i hate ppl who hurts the one i love, or i shd say like. it was such a disaster, and then eric left tday. i'll miss him so much, i bet everyone will do too. well...guess i've nvr mentioned abt eric before but i do like him in a unique way, yea...not in a girl-to-guy way. we din get along much but i do like to talk to him, a nice person who thinks everythg in a very diff way frm mine. and the new frn name beach, he's such a cute guy. i've heard many of his stories frm cindy and then i finally met him this year after entering corner. but unfortunately he's gon leave too, well nt exactly bcz of eric but partly...i wish i could hv more time to get together with all those ppl who are leaving frm coner. i love corner and i love everyone thr<3

promised to not go clubbing after school starts but we still do partying every week. i nt sure if it's a good thg but im sure it's not exactly a bad thg to do. went to halloween massive but it's turns out not-so-good. i shd say techno is totally not my thg, but steve aoki's awesome cz he's the only one who cn make me dance to techno musics:)) it's a good try tho, but once wud be enuf. imma go to other places nex year and thinking wht to be frm nw on. lol

been listening to american pop music for all these months, well mostly club hits. started missing the korean music...yea i don rly mean those pop musics realeased these days cz most of them sucks. i wish they could do better than tht other than jz hoping to get more groups debuting. korean hip hop and r&b is always my fav so recently im listening to the songs by the artists frm the movement crew, hip hop pioneers in korea. seriously thr's only few female rapper i agree with, cz most of them these days are jz reading sentences especially i hate the JYP style rapping. T(tasha)'s one of my fav and then followed by CL frm 2ne1. watching them jz make me feel more like learning rapping but i knw tht's a born talent which u cn nvr immitate well.

gon do a post for all my fav rappers in korea if i have the time. might take a long time cz thr'll be underground included. taking the l'oreal brandstorm competition and "had" register, still had no idea whr to start but i rly wanna impress them, have to work hard for it.

it's time for sleep so i'll continue nex time:))

sweet dreams word<3